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Last week I saw this movie in theaters. It seemed pretty good, but I had to go to the bathroom about in the middle. It seemed good, but CR quit before he got too old. He tries to come back to the Hundred Acre Wood years later, but he is of a very advanced age at that point.

Christopher Robin is played in the film by Ewan McGregor, who is very old compared to those he gave up years ago. I don’t remember too much after that because I had to use the bathroom shortly after, but I do remember he attacked the Heffalumps (who were not there at the time) to save his friends.

It all comes back to him once he finds his way back into the Wood. Winnie the Pooh is the same, as is Rabbit, Tigger, Owl and Eeyore. Winnie the Pooh is very much like he was when Christopher Robin left, as is everyone else.

When Christopher comes back, gis friends are hiding from the Heffalump, which isn’t there.

At the Mountains of Masturbation

This post started as a comment on a Facebook post applauding Guillermo del Toro for sticking to his guns, demanding a hard “R” rating for his long-in-gestation adaptation of H.P. Lovecraft’s At the Mountains of Madness, and walking away when the studio pushed for a PG-13. I had an unreasonable amount of things to say for a Facebook comment, so here we are.

Read more…


I saw PHOENIX FORGOTTEN today at Beach Cities Arclight. It was about three teen people abduced by a UFO after seeing it over Phoenix, Arizona on March 13, 1997. It was called the “Phoenix Lights” and apparently really happened, although the three people who disappeared seem to just be a myth.

The screening is only one hour and twenty seven minutes, so it was pretty short, and not a lot of VFX in it, but still some. A good chunk of the movie was taken in 1997 by people searching for the Lights. The movie is much shorter because of this.

It also explains why there was not a lot of VFX in the movie, as most of it happens without the camera looking. When updated to the 2017 footage, the still aren’t a lot of VFX in the new stuff as nothing happens effects-wise in the modern age.

I only saw this movie because I assumed my mom wanted to come, but she didn’t. It was just me and Vanessa watching it. But we were there and saw everything happen (or not), and saw the movie from beginning to end.

Only near the end did we start to see the UFO’s kidnapping the kids, and that only after coming across another camera that they had with them when they got abducted.

The parents of Josh Bishop got a divorse after Josh disappeared,Ashley and Mark’s parents still seem to be together, but only we see the final tape of the abduction.

I saw and enjoyed it, and think it is worth checking out if you are interested in this movie at all.

Star Wars: The Alternate Prequels

I have written the alternate prequels to the first three Star Wars movies. You can read them here if you want to:

Star Wars: the Alternate Prequels

Movie Review: PASSENGERS


A few weeks ago PASSENGERS, starring Chris Pratt and Jennifer Lawrence. Pratt starred as Owen in JURASSIC WORLD and Lawrence as Katniss in THE HUNGER GAMES movies, so both were ready to put on the star role and hold a movie down. The film also starred Michael Sheen as Arthur and Laurence Fishburne as Officer Mancuso in smaller roles, but Chris and Jenifer were mostly the show on their own.

PASSENGERS starts with Chris Pratt as James “Jim” Pearston waking up after only 30 years of travel (in what is supposed to be a 120 year trip). He tries to go back to sleep but fails, and finally sees Aurora Lane (Jennifer Lawrence) in her bed and, after a year (plus several weeks) of being awake he decides to wake her, too. So he does, but does not tell her it was originally his idea, and together they go about the ship the only two people awake.

Jim throws Aurora a birthday party nearly a year later, in a pub manned by Arthur, who tells her that Jim is the reason she woke up. Jim thought he could trust Arthur with the information but discovers he can’t. So now Aurora spends her time mad at Jim (who is the only other person awake on the ship) until Officer Mancuso wakes up.

Mancuso tells Jim and Aurora to stop fighting and fix the ship. Finally he gets sick, and they find out after sticking him in an Autodoc for scanning that he has more than 600 thing wrong with him. The Autodoc tries to give him a few pills to regularly eat until he succumbs to what is wrong with him (which is only a few hours away now), but Mancuso refuses and leaves the bay. They later find him dressed very wisely in the bay where both of them usually drink whatever they can;t get from Arthur. He tells them he is alright, that he is ready to die, and that the two of them are all the ship has left now. He gives them his ID to fix the ship once he is gone.

Together they find out that the ship was hit two years ago by an asteroid chunk that damaged it and woke Jim up. Jim tries to fix things but in the end discovers he can only fix it by opening the door from outside. He does, taking a shield with him to prevent fire form raining down on him, and while he accomplishes fixing it his tarter break and he floats out to space. Lane barely has time to save him, and finally takes him to the Autodoc to save his life. At first it cannot help him, but she know about using Mancuso’s ID and repeating his catchphrase to get everything working again. She successfully wakes Jim up after telling the board to do everything it can think of to get him back.

Jim then finds out that you could use the Autodoc to put someone to sleep until they get to Homestead II, the planet they are going to, but Aurora knows that only she would be able to put Jim to sleep and live alone on the ship. 88 years later, the ship gets near Homestead II and the passengers and crew wake up to discover Aurora’s book and a tape she made to let people know that she had died, but was happy to have done so with Jim.

A lot of people were very negative about this movie but I honestly don’t see why. Yes it was a story about “Titanic in space”, but I do not think that is a bad thing. I see it as a present to the story being told, which would be hard to do without something happening underneath it.

We’re moving!

After more than 15 years riding the free web template gravy train, I decided it was finally time to get my own site. The blog and its content are now hosted on my shiny new site at If you already check my site via that URL, you’re… already there and not reading this anyway so why am I even talking to you. If you don’t — especially those of you who so kindly subscribed to my posts via WordPress or RSS — be sure update your subscriptions to pull from the new site.

Movie Review: WARM BODIES

Review may contain mild spoilers. 

It seems like I can’t swing a cat these days without knocking over a shambling and/or sprinting corpse. We’ve got zombie movies, zombie video games, zombie books, zombie TV shows, and if you’re a fellow traveler on the geek internets, zombie references practically warrant categorization as a grammatical part of speech.

Rather than feeling burned out on the entire idea of zombies, however, this situation just makes it more difficult for a new piece of zombie media to rise above the noise and capture my attention. Much of the time it feels like the way action movie pitches after the success of DIE HARD supposedly became variations on DIE HARD.

“It’s zombies in a mall!”

“It’s zombies on a train!”

“It’s zombies on an island!”

WARM BODIES is pretty explicitly “zombie Romeo & Juliet.” Nicholas Hoult plays R, a zombie with some sense of his remaining humanity but no memory of his name beyond the first letter. As one of a small herd of zombies he comes across a group of human survivors scavenging in the urban wasteland, and falls in love with a young woman named Julie after eating the brains (and gaining the memories) of her boyfriend, Perry. Just to make sure no one misses it, R’s best friend is a zombie who recalls his name starts with M, and in a later scene where R infiltrates the fortified survivors’ city, he hides in Julie’s garden while she pines after him on the balcony.

One of the few pieces of book-larnin’ I still carry at the front of my mind is from a Shakespeare course I took in college. Regarding Romeo & Juliet, the professor pointed out that part of the power of the story is that it’s structured as a comedy, and is in fact very humorous early on. Throughout the play, it goes through many of the same essential beats as a comedy of errors, with miscommunication and mistaken identity, but instead of resulting in hijinks and escalating farce they result in violence and an ever-mounting death toll.

I don’t know if this view informed the filmmakers (or the author of the novel on which the film is based) in their approach to the material, but I think there’s a nice symmetry in taking a story which turns love and comedy into death and tragedy, and using it as a backbone to tell a story about a world overrun by death and tragedy transformed by love and comedy.

As you may know from the trailers, what develops between R and Julie somehow (they wisely don’t even try to explain it) causes R to begin to come back to life, and the effects begin to ripple out to affect other zombies, and will ultimately change the world. I think part of our fascination with zombies is the way they reflect so much of what we fear about the modern world — about being mindless consumers going about meaningless rituals day after day; about ourselves, or the people we love, being changed uncontrollably into something vile, some other thing wearing our faces; about losing everything we hold dear in an instant and being faced with the no-win choice to either endure or succumb. Zombie tales tend to be bleak, full of terror and loss, the “happy” endings ambiguous at best. WARM BODIES is the first zombie film I can think of to defy this cynicism and say: yes, it may be that we have lost something precious. But we can get it back. There is hope for us and for the future. We can do more than just survive — we can live.

It’s not what I would consider a perfect movie. The movie nearly stalls out in the first act with Julia trapped in R’s zombie bachelor pad, an abandoned 747 filled primarily with vinyl records. It’s the sequence in which they’re meant to be falling in love but which in my view goes on too long, with each scene being much the same beat rather than building on the last. The story of love conquering all is a little too pat and Symbolism 101 (water as a symbolism for rebirth? Such originality!), the plotting in general is a bit superficial, and I think everyone in the end comes out a little too okay with the fact that Julia’s new boyfriend killed her old one and ate his brains.

Still, it’s got genuine humor (Rob Corddry as M is especially fun) and genuine horror, and I appreciate it for its ambition and its desire to say something new with our nightmare du jour. Worth checking out.