Fuck this commercial
If you watched the Colbert clip from yesterday, you almost certainly saw the Chase Sapphire commercial. If not, here it is:
Chase has apparently broken the bank to get this ad on every streaming television show there is, at every commercial break. This is seriously one of the worst commercials I’ve ever seen, and I have to keep seeing it.
Before we go any further: I’m aware that by linking to and talking about this ad, I’m just giving the creators what they intended, which is attention. But it’s negative attention, so it should balance out. And I hate this ad so much I really just need to get this out of my system.
The main problem is, it’s just a lazy concept with lazy writing. (But no doubt expensive — the Sinatra track alone…)
She shows him a new dress and the first thing he does is propose that they “take a break.”
Take a break from what? Lounging around in your bright, spacious, well-furnished modern condo, unkempt in your shorts and flip-flops, without an apparent care in the world, while your wife goes shopping at expensive stores without you? Yeah, I can see how you’d be right on the verge of burnout. Couple of real candles in the wind, here.
She responds that “we can’t,” which is a reasonable response — surely they have responsibilities of some kind.
And instead of responding to her vague objection in a sensible, human way — without even inquiring as to what her objection is — he launches into this weird sales pitch, reassuring her that “the points don’t expire” and “there’s no travel restrictions.”
Really? That’s what you assumed she was concerned about? That the points might expire? Not “I’ve got jury duty” or “I’ve got an important meeting” or “my mom’s birthday is coming up” or “I’m pregnant”? You don’t even ask, you just go right for the points? Wow.
Then there’s “we could leave tomorrow.” You could? So you don’t have, like, any job at all? Either of you? How do you pay off that Chase card that you’ve apparently used often enough to accrue a European vacation’s worth of points?
I guess they’ve just made a lot of smart investments and live off the passive income — but I have to ask again, in that case: take a break from what? You have no apparent financial or social obligations, I find it real hard to sympathize with your need for “a break.”
Speaking of a European vacation’s worth of points, apparently that dress alone costs the same amount of points. And she bought it without consulting him. And he just smiles indulgently before a fade-out so fast I have to assume he sucker-punched her (with good cause) and they had to get out quick to salvage the tone.
The characters’ apparent lack of value to human society could have been fixed if they’d just had him at the kitchen table, hunched over a laptop, papers strewn. Working hard, instead of hardly working. It still wouldn’t have salvaged the ham-handed blathering about the terms of the cardholder contract (that’ll turn her on!), or the fact that she’d then deserve two black eyes for wasting hard-earned money instead of the kind that apparently grows on the trees in their backyard.
(My guess would be that they probably did have him doing some kind of stressful-looking white-collar work, and changed it to lounging casually when someone pointed out that her buying something so expensive without asking would not be likely to get an indulgent smile as a reaction if the money don’t come easy.)
This ad is poorly-considered and unrelateable at pretty much every level. I’m not going to sign up for this card, Chase, and I’m tired of fucking hearing about it. Please stop advertising on the shows I like, go away, and die.