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Fuck this commercial

December 7, 2009

If you watched the Colbert clip from yesterday, you almost certainly saw the Chase Sapphire commercial. If not, here it is:

Chase has apparently broken the bank to get this ad on every streaming television show there is, at every commercial break. This is seriously one of the worst commercials I’ve ever seen, and I have to keep seeing it.

Before we go any further: I’m aware that by linking to and talking about this ad, I’m just giving the creators what they intended, which is attention. But it’s negative attention, so it should balance out. And I hate this ad so much I really just need to get this out of my system.

The main problem is, it’s just a lazy concept with lazy writing. (But no doubt expensive — the Sinatra track alone…)

She shows him a new dress and the first thing he does is propose that they “take a break.”

Take a break from what? Lounging around in your bright, spacious, well-furnished modern condo, unkempt in your shorts and flip-flops, without an apparent care in the world, while your wife goes shopping at expensive stores without you? Yeah, I can see how you’d be right on the verge of burnout. Couple of real candles in the wind, here.

She responds that “we can’t,” which is a reasonable response — surely they have responsibilities of some kind.

And instead of responding to her vague objection in a sensible, human way — without even inquiring as to what her objection is — he launches into this weird sales pitch, reassuring her that “the points don’t expire” and “there’s no travel restrictions.”

Really? That’s what you assumed she was concerned about? That the points might expire? Not “I’ve got jury duty” or “I’ve got an important meeting” or “my mom’s birthday is coming up” or “I’m pregnant”? You don’t even ask, you just go right for the points? Wow.

Then there’s “we could leave tomorrow.” You could? So you don’t have, like, any job at all? Either of you? How do you pay off that Chase card that you’ve apparently used often enough to accrue a European vacation’s worth of points?

I guess they’ve just made a lot of smart investments and live off the passive income — but I have to ask again, in that case: take a break from what? You have no apparent financial or social obligations, I find it real hard to sympathize with your need for “a break.”

Speaking of a European vacation’s worth of points, apparently that dress alone costs the same amount of points. And she bought it without consulting him. And he just smiles indulgently before a fade-out so fast I have to assume he sucker-punched her (with good cause) and they had to get out quick to salvage the tone.

The characters’ apparent lack of value to human society could have been fixed if they’d just had him at the kitchen table, hunched over a laptop, papers strewn. Working hard, instead of hardly working. It still wouldn’t have salvaged the ham-handed blathering about the terms of the cardholder contract (that’ll turn her on!), or the fact that she’d then deserve two black eyes for wasting hard-earned money instead of the kind that apparently grows on the trees in their backyard.

(My guess would be that they probably did have him doing some kind of stressful-looking white-collar work, and changed it to lounging casually when someone pointed out that her buying something so expensive without asking would not be likely to get an indulgent smile as a reaction if the money don’t come easy.)

This ad is poorly-considered and unrelateable at pretty much every level. I’m not going to sign up for this card, Chase, and I’m tired of fucking hearing about it. Please stop advertising on the shows I like, go away, and die.

From → rants, writing

6 Comments
  1. Thank you, sir. I’ve been watching ‘V’ (and more recently, ‘Lost’) and this commercial wouldn’t go away. You’ve accurately summed up the problems inherent.

    Also, I’ve had a ‘rewards’ card for two years. I think I’ve accrued 16 bucks? Maybe? I’ve never seen a dime of it. They won’t apply it to my bill, and they won’t send it to me until I get $50.

    However, to be fair to the writer/director/client, I had a similar confrontation with my mother, in which I exhausted a list of possibilities before realizing she was trying to get me to comment on her new outfit. So maybe the ad is aimed at women: Men are stoopid, get them to apply for this card, and you can buy cool stuff for yourself while they sit at home in their underwear. AND THEY WON’T EVEN REALIZE ‘TIL IT’S TOO LATE!

  2. Ray permalink

    Chase has been doing some shady stuff, I’ve experienced it first hand.

    About two years ago I got a Chase Visa credit line of $10,000. Times got tough and I had to lean on it. It isn’t the only line of credit I have, but I have a credit score well over 700 for all three reporting agencies. I’ve never missed a payment EVER for any loan or credit card. My payments are usually rounded up to the nearest hundred for the amount due.

    Last year, Chase cut my limit to 9,100. They said I was a credit liability due to other cards with high balances. I re-double my efforts to pay off my other lines of credit, and as of today I’ve made headway but am still in the red. My Chase Visa Card had only a balance of 4,000. I then received a notice the limit had been cut again to 5,000.

    WTF

    Same excuse, I’m a credit liability. I dug a little deeper. Now because my credit balance is over 50% of the credit line my credit SCORE gets hit. I’m now in the low 700s. It states in my Chase member services (which were re-vamped four months ago to include this next part) that when my credit score lowers they reserve the right to INCREASE my APR.

    Shady business.

  3. Marnie permalink

    THANK YOU!!!!

    I want to punch her in the face for spending enough money on a DRESS to negate a trip to Italy, & I’m A WOMAN! Just tonight, I asked my husband what the husband gets out of her buying such an expensive dress, & he said, “Just that. He gets her out of it.”

    You know, “Hey, honey, does my dress look nice? “Yeah, crumpled up on the floor.” I mean she could have gone to Wal-Mart or even have used a dress that she already owned for that. “Oh, & by the way, sorry I blew ALL YOUR FUCKING POINTS ON A DRESS!”

    Man, I’ve been bitchin’ about this commercial all fall. I’m just gald that someone else feels the same way.

  4. Lori Siegel permalink

    Dear Dorkman You are so right. although I don’t watch TV often, I did watch the comercial clip and I like your observations…. I like it a lot!
    God Bless, Lori

  5. ratna permalink

    omg yes i’ve been hating that ad since it came out. 12 out of 10 on my barf-o-meter.

  6. It’s not terrible. I just don’t understand why it’s 2.35

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