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That’s not how this works

May 22, 2009

I get messages via YouTube with fair frequency. Most of them are variations on “badass dude” and “wut program u use 2 make lightsbaers?” 

But occasionally, I’ll get an email in which the sender seems to believe he is volunteering a service, when in fact he is actually asking me and/or Ryan to provide one. Today, I got a particularly amusing one that I thought I’d share. Subject line: “Can I help.”

I know that you don’t know me, but I have some new ideas that I need help getting to life. I write science fiction storys [sic] and scripts, and I know that my stuff is like nothing you have ever seen before. To get a taste it’s a mixture of X-men, Star Wars, and Underworld. I hope to hear from you soon.

Okay, first off:














My favorite part is where he says it’s like nothing I’ve ever seen, then proceeds to name three things I’ve seen that it’s like. Just for a taste, mind you. 

But here’s what I’m talking about. He comes into this apparently under the impression that he’s offering to help, when in fact what he’s doing is offering to give me “storys” he’s written (<– big confidence booster there with regard to writing, by the way) so that I can go make them. 

Putting aside for the time being that I’ve already got enough story ideas of my own to deal with, not to mention Anthony’s, and fully acknowledging that writing is a challenging process, it’s still the easy part when it comes to filmmaking. 

This guy isn’t alone in failing to appreciate how difficult it is to make a short film, let alone a huge feature. Ever since the RvD2 was released, literally within ten minutes, people were asking us for RvD3. As if we had another film in our pockets and just forgot about it. 

Like I said, this is not the first email I’ve gotten offering to do me the favor of writing a movie I can’t possibly produce. I’m nowhere near the echelon of even a Kevin Smith, let alone a Steven Spielberg, but I’m quickly coming to understand why the system is what it is. If it were easy to break in, everyone would. And we’d have even more lazily-written and hastily-produced junk in cinemas than we even do now. 

Speaking of which, still owe a Terminator Salvation review. ‘Fore the weekend’s out, hopefully. 

From → filmmaking, writing

  1. Landporpus permalink

    o my god! It must be a pain in the ass to have people asking all the time to work on their film for them,(mostly if their total noobs at everyting from shooting to choreography and VFX.) I gess I dont’t feel your pain but i can get a preaty good idea of what it must feel like.

    I do so understand that the world of film making can take forever and stuff like RVD3 should come in its own time, instead of rushing to make another video which will be really no better then the last one (like FRED videos and chad vader).

    Good for you not giving into the pressure of fan crap but im sure most of it is easy to say no to anyway.

    PS. Do you like JAMES CAMERON or at least his films?

  2. Ray permalink

    I… just… wow…. but….


    Dude, that idea of his is made up of epic and win. I say we DOOO it.

    And with that I exit with a quote from Penny Arcade

    “My name is Grim Shadow, and I am here to take it to the limit.”


  3. natecow permalink

    Oh, YouTube comments are the greatest. The ones I seem to always get are on my demo reel, which almost always consist of “lol what program do u use?” This being especially annoying since the description of the video tells you exactly what I use, AND I have screen recordings of me actually doing the work inside Silhouette and Shake, which aren’t particularly easy apps to pick up without the manual or some training if I do say so myself, so have fun with your bittorrented copy 🙂

  4. Oh come on. You know one of them is going to make the Best Fanfilm Ever. It will be a trilogy of 3 hour movies, packed with absolutely photoreal CGI, and huge battle scenes with hundreds of thousands of soldiers (nothing you can’t just whip up in Massive in an afternoon, right?) and it might have some kind of story in there, maybe. Or not.

    I can see why you have moved away from fan films to creating movies with a less…annoying fan base.

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